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Post by JAZZ;; on Nov 4, 2009 21:22:10 GMT
  Jasper had felt better for being in a room with Alice, but this didn't stop his momentary panic. He felt bad for feeling so panicked because he knew when he got like this he started projecting his emotions uncontrollably and they always tended to be magnified. He dare not think of how bad the panic could be if it was elevated from the level he was already at. He tried not to focus on Alice: the last thing she needed right now was this panic. She was already scared enough of herself without his fear of himself being thrown on top of that. His breathing wasn't exactly steady and he could feel himself shaking as he heard Alice take a breath before speaking to him. She was trying to be calm, he could feel that much. He initially found it quite difficult to look at Alice as she turned to him as he spoke. He knew he was always honest with her, but did he have to tell her this? This was one of the last things she probably needed to hear from him. His hands balled into fists at his sides as he tried to hold himself together for the sake of, well, everyone.
An angry growl rumbled in his throat when she spoke as he wrapped his arms around her. He wasn't angry at her. He was angry at himself. She had faith in him and all he could do was doubt himself. Wasn't her faith enough? It normally felt like enough. Why didn't it quite fill all the gaps now? He tightened his grip around Alice, face still buried into her neck. “I wish I had faith in myself,” he mumbled against her neck. He could hear everyone downstairs. He couldn't fade them out. He had to face the music, right? Alice wanted to see her friend and she obviously didn't want to do it alone. Carlisle. The name bounced around his head a few times. That was what was preventing Alice's faith in him for being enough. Carlisle didn't think Jasper was fit to be around anyone at the moment, considering the state of things and the state of his...mind set. He withdrew a sharp breath as he felt Alice's hand in his hair. She was trying. He couldn't help it if things were putting him on edge, but he should have been able to restrain himself a little surely. He was letting everyone down.
He pulled away from Alice just enough so that he was then looking up into her face, sighing softly as she smiled. He couldn't even bring himself to smile now. He scowled slightly when she said he didn't have to apologise, that she understood. She shouldn't have to understand. He shouldn't have to apologise in the first place. Not because she said he didn't have to, but because he shouldn't have freaked out like that. He listened to every word she said, trying to believe them as best as he could. He so desperately wanted to believe them, to have faith in her words. He didn't want to bet against her, but he couldn't help the nagging doubt that he felt. “I'll try,” he began simply, jaw tightening slightly. “I'll try...for you,” he repeated and continued. Venom stung his eyes again as she said she always needed him. He knew that was true because he always needed her, but it was also nice to hear her say it out loud. He looked her up and down for a moment. “I'm here...” he whispered softly back to her.
He closed his eyes and let out a slow steadying breath. He swallowed as he opened his eyes again and refocused on Alice in front of him. A small smile finally curled the corners of his mouth. He slowly stood, leaning forward to press a kiss against her forehead without another word. He slowly undid his shirt as he moved to wear Alice had laid out a clean one for him. He noticed the style immediately. She was still edgy about the new crescent shaped scar she had added to his collection. He shrugged of his original shirt, throwing it onto the bed and picked up the shirt Alice had chosen, pulling it on quickly and buttoning it right up. He brushed himself off out of habit before crossing to Alice. “Better?” he questioned softly, reaching to her and running his fingertips down her cheek. “I guess it's now or never,” he offered, offering her a hand of his to take, so they could walk downstairs together. “If I squeeze your hand, I need to leave,” he instructed, a serious and solid tone to his voice.
tag;; alice cullen.! carlisle cullen.! edward cullen.! rosalie hale.! emmett cullen.! fae'lee rose.! damienne renton.! esme cullen.!
word count;; 789 words.!
lyric credit;; busted.!
graphic credit;; me.!
outfit;; here.!
muse;; round and about
notes;; Stardustttttt.! I'm cooooolddddd.!
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Post by alicecullen on Nov 6, 2009 11:37:58 GMT
 Things were so hard for the normally care free couple... Alice was effected most by Jaspers changing moods, she was his mate and as such she was finely tuned into his thoughts and feelings. It made things more difficult at a time like this when both of their emotions were running high. It hurt her deeply to see her Jazzy like this, knowing that it was mostly her fault as well only made her feel worse. Though she tried at all times to hide her feelings, she didnt want him to feel any worse than he already did. She felt a pang of guilt as Jasper struggled to look at her, were things really that bad between them? Alice knew deep down that she was worrying over nothing, but they had never been through anything like this before and she was starting to have her doubts. Sometimes she wished her gift was more like Edwards, so she knew exactly what Jasper was thinking as well as feeling. She was starting to dig very deep to find the courage to keep things together.
She held him close savouring having him there with her. It was going to be hard for both of them to cope at the party. But Alice was sure they would pull through together, somehow. 'I have faith in you Jazzy...' She whispered back as he mumbled into her neck. Her eyes closed briefly as his words sliced into her like a cold knife. It was her fault he felt so unsure, if it wasnt for her he wouldnt be feeling this way. Alice felt sorry for Carlisle, he had been stressed with everything and she knew he was trying his best. The Cullens always looked to him in times of crisis and unfortuantly Carlisle didnt have the answers this time. He had been getting a lot of negativity from Edward and Jasper, Alice knew though that he was only doing what he thought was best. Even if it had spread a feeling of unease amongst the family. Alice had her doubts about Carlisle's plans this time too, but she knew he was trying his hardest and that was all Alice could ask for.
Alice had hoped for a smile from Jasper and she felt her heart sag a little as he scowled instead. She had never felt like this around Jasper and at times it felt like her heart was breaking. 'Everything will get better Jazzy...' She offered, though she knew he would see through it, she was uncertain about the future, everyone knew that. As he whispered that he was there for her she held him tightly to her. She didnt know what she would do without her Jazzy, she wanted everything to be normal again. If they pulled through this then Alice knew she would want to spend time alone, just the two of them. Perhaps that was something she could focus on, something to look forward to in these dark times. She would mention it later perhaps, it would do them good to focus on something positive for a change.
Alice's smile returned as Jasper smiled to her and kissed her on the forehead. She knew he was trying to be strong for the both of them, just as she was doing. For now though thats the best she could hope and ask for. She turned to look back out the window as he changed, she didnt want to see the scar again. It hurt her deeply and she always felt guilty every time she saw it. She knew Jasper thought she was being silly, but she simply couldnt help it. She looked back as he returned dressed, the high collar mostly covered his new scar, she could live with that... Though that pang of guilt still pushed its way forward a little. She nodded slowly as he asked her if that was better. She took his hand and stood 'Okay' She gave him a quick hug before leading him out the bedroom door.
Everyone was downstairs already and Alice could feel tension in the air. Both Edward and Damienne looked nervous, Esme and Carlisle were their usual calm selves, Roslaie looked like she was about to kill Edward with Emmett holding tightly onto her reigns. Then there was little Fae, the sight of the little girl acting to calm and relaxed in a room filled with tense vampires really made her heart sigh a little. 'Sorry... We werent holding you guys up were we?' She smiled as she drew Jasper close to her, her hand held in his just incase he needed to get out of there fast. Thankfully Fae had learned to keep her distance from Jasper, though of course Damienne didnt have that luxuary. She beamed to Damienne, she could only imagine how nervous she felt and she didnt even know she was in a room of blood drinking vampires...
whos in the house?: Jasper Hale, Esme Cullen, Fae Rose, Edward Cullen, Damienne Renton, Carlisle Cullen, Rosalie Hale, Emmett Cullen
what I'm wearing: Here!
count down!: 822
lyrics in my head: Evanescence - Imaginary
who did this?: Moi!
notes: No idea where the muse for this ramble came from lol [/blockquote][/size] |
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Post by Fae'Lee Rose on Nov 6, 2009 21:08:36 GMT
 All children are curious and even though Faes childhood had been snatched so cruelly from her, she was no different. She had been eager to meet Damienne and of course she recognised her straight away from the picture she had drawn that morning. She liked the name Damienne, it was different, she had never heard a name like that before. Her eyes flickered to Edward, she hadnt had much contact with him, but she could tell he was tense about something and her head tilted slightly and she smiled to him before looking back to Damienne. 'Damienne is a pretty name...' She giggled and bit the nail on her thumb gently as she curled a finger through her hair. She turned round to look at Rosalie, whos cold features softened as she smiled to her. Rosalie was a tough cookie, but Fae seemed to know how to melt her stone cold heart. She looked back to Damienne as she continued to talk to her, she already knew she liked Edwards friend.
She nodded slowly as she said that she wasnt an Angel herself, she wasnt like the other Angels in the house. All of them hade ice cold, marble hard skin and oddly coloured eyes. They also had a certain smell about them, there was something so wonderful about being close to them that Fae couldnt explain, but she was happy to cuddle up to them despite their coldness. Fae reached out and touched Damienne's hand again, smiling gently as she said they were looking out for the both of them. 'Thats what Angels do' She smiled a little sadly wondering why the Angels were looking over Damienne too, she knew it must have been something serious. She looked to her face, trying to think where she had seen it, surely she must have seen it to draw it? She smiled shyly to Damienne as she looked to her and smiled, she was a nice person, she could tell that.
Fae looked round as Alice and Jasper decended the stairs, she wanted to go give her a hug, but she knew she wasnt meant to get too close to Angle Jasper. He was the most distant of them, but Alice said that he was really a very nice Angel, he just wasnt good with people. She beamed and waved to Alice instead before looking around at the ring of adults around her. She chewed on her lip gently noticing everyone was looking at her... 'Well shall we get this party started?' Rosalie moved forward sweeping Fae into her arms trying to hide her scowl as the smell of dog wafted past her nose. Rosalie glared at Edward for a moment before looking to Fae 'I think there are some presents around here somewhere for the birthday girl...' Fae giggled as Rosalie looked to her family hoping they would follow her lead and concentrate their efforts on Fae, not Damienne.
whos in the house?: Alice Cullen, Jasper Hale
what I'm wearing: Here!
count down!: 492
lyrics in my head: Disney Cinderella - A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes
who did this?: Moi!
notes: Yay Party! lol
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Post by carlislecullen on Nov 14, 2009 15:36:55 GMT
  Carlisle couldn't decide if he was fighting a losing battle with the family at the moment: Alice was doubtful, Jasper was in pieces, Edward...well, he was happy, but how long would that last? He would have to come clean to Damienne at some point. Would he become his usual brooding self once he did that? Did he really believe she would find it easy to walk away from him, despite the things he would have to tell her? Something told Carlisle that Damienne wasn't going to give up easily on Edward and he knew that the young vampire would find that hard to accept. If Edward actually listened to his philosophy about what they were, then maybe he would have been able to believe that he was allowed to be happy, but he was set in his ways. It would take time or something big to make him realise the truth in his words. Edward had been alone all this time, watching his family around him get paired off and live happily. Surely that was example enough that he could have that too.
He knew that everyone, with the exception of perhaps Rosalie because of her attitude towards new people and Jasper because of his need to regain control of himself properly first, was going to try and make Damienne feel welcome. They all seemed to have the same attitude towards the girl: yes, she was human and came from a none-too-perfect shape shifter background, but she had put a genuine smile on Edward's face and a spring in his step...were they all prepared to deny him of that? Not one of them was looking forward to the day he would have to tell her the truth, but they all seemed to hope that she would stick to her guns and stay with Edward...that was what Carlisle was getting from everyone's attitudes to the girl. Maybe he was taking everything wrong and he was just thinking wishfully of his family and for Edward. He didn't know and he didn't really care if he was taking it wrong. He was allowed his own wishful thinking, right? He knew he wasn't going to deny Edward of Damienne.
Carlisle had done his best to avoid Alice's decorating the day before by coming home relatively late from work, but heading straight to his study when he did return, saying in passing that he was going to be busy for a good few hours and wished to be left alone. He didn't do that a lot before this month. He needed the time alone to think. Granted, everything he thought, in Edward's presence, the boy would hear as well and he didn't need Edward complicating things right now. He hoped Damienne would be enough to keep him distracted. Granted, a portion of that 'distraction' was the fact that Edward could turn on her at any given point if he wasn't careful, though Carlisle couldn't think like that. He had faith in Edward. He had spent the longest time fighting his thirst and he was certainly well adapted to it. There were a couple of severe downsides to Damienne being in Edward's life, but he always found them completely marred by the great upsides she brought to his son.
He heard Esme's soft voice as she popped her head into his office. He hated what the family was going through and the fact he was hiding a few things from Esme, but the less people that knew everything, the better...for now. He shook his head slowly as she requested for him not to be too long. “I won't be,” he replied with a soft smile. “Love you,” he mumbled as she left again. He changed quickly, as per Esme's request, and headed downstairs to join the others. There was definitely a strange atmosphere down here. He smiled softly as he watched Esme greet Damienne. He leaned into Esme slightly as she kissed his cheek. He smiled at Damienne's reply to his words. “Don't think anything of it. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't help,” he replied gently. She was nervous, that much was obvious, but he noticed how she was trying to cover it up the best she could as well, wanting to make a good impression. He squeezed her slightly as Fae greeted Damienne. He relaxed a little as Edward nodded to his thought.
So Damienne was at least a little aware of the reasons behind why Fae was the way she was? That made things a little easier to explain away now. A small smile crept across his lips as he noticed Edward move his hand to Damienne's back. Of course he was the most supportive person in the room for the girl. She knew him the best. She certainly did seem very capable of dealing with Fae. That was another good start as well. She was explaining away the 'angel' thing as well. Edward had obviously explained a little more than he thought he would have. He looked to the stairs as he heard Alice and Jasper coming down them. He noticed how their hands were laced together, the muscles all over Jasper's body tensing and untensing. He wasn't certain about all this, but something told him that Alice had wanted him there. He shook his head slowly when Alice asked if they were holding them up, not really in response to their question, more to himself, considering the situation at hand.
He glanced at Rosalie as she spoke and swept Fae up into her arms. She was really getting very attached to the little girl. He still wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. He wasn't going to argue with anyone about it in the mean time, but there may be heated conversation about it at the end of the day. It was another situation involving them and a personal attachment to a human. As much as they thrived to fit in around here, anything going wrong, even the slightest bit wrong, would mean complications for them. He scowled at Rosalie as she glared at Edward. There was no need for that. He ushered Esme into the other room following Rosalie. 'I hope you warned Damienne about Rosalie,' he thought at Edward, without looking at the younger vampire. He knew Edward's attitude to Rosalie seemed like a typical siblings rivalry, but it was certainly a lot more than that. If Rosalie wanted to argue with him about this situation, she certainly wouldn't be shy about it at all.
tag;; edward cullen.! alice cullen.! esme cullen.! rosalie hale.! emmett cullen.! jasper hale.! damienne renton.! fae'lee rose.!
word count;; 1095 words.!
lyric credit;; elo's 'secret messages'.!
graphic credit;; me.!
outfit;; here.!
muse;; out of no where, I tell ya.!
notes;; Jazzy returned...I think =S I'm so confused.!
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Post by esme on Nov 18, 2009 15:52:23 GMT
 Esme worried about Carlisle greatly and she was worried about the amount of stress he had been dealing with recently. Normally Carlisle was so collected in times of crisis but she could feel that at times that was slipping and part of him was starting to panic. There wasnt much that Esme could do but support him and be there for him when he needed her. Esme did trust however that Carlisle would do what was best for their family, he always did and so she would leave it up to him. Though she tried to his mind off it on the rare times they were alone, he needed the occasional distraction. As she left him to get ready she couldnt help but wish there was more she could do, however Carlisle was set in his ways and she knew he wouldnt want her to worry over this, or him. She would just have to continue doing what she could to keep Carlisle afloat and helping him to cope with these troubled times.
Carlisle hadnt gone into too much detail regarding Damienne and her family, though Esme knew it would be obvious even to Rosalie that she had dealings with shapeshifters. She only hoped that Rosalie would remain from saying anything too revealing. Then again Esme knew that Rosalie took the families security very seriously, even if it was for selfish reasons. She smiled softly to Damienne as she nodded in greeting, the poor thing was probably feeling really intimidated around all of them, of course the glares from wouldnt be helping much at all. As Carlisle leaned into her she smiled softly, she knew Carlisle was nervous about having Damienne meet their family, but so far it was going well. She gave him a squeeze back as she felt him tense as Fae introduced herself. Childrens minds were amazing things and it seemed that both Fae and Damienne were coping well with the situation.
Esme felt herself sigh inside as she saw Edwards hand move to Damienne's back, she had starting losing hope that Edward would find someone to fill his life. He had been so depressed of late and Esme hoped that Damienne would put the spark back into his life. Esme had missed the sound of Edwards music filling the household, perhaps it was something that would return with time. As Rosalie picked up Fae, Esme sighed noting the hostile look she was giving Damienne, Rosalie wasnt going to give this girl a chance was she? Though she hoped that Damienne wouldnt feel intimidated by her, Esme wanted her to feel welcome in their home. Esme smiled and stepped away from Carlisle's side to go get the pile of presents they had bought for little Fae, at least this would shift the attention away from Damiennen something she hoped would help her relax.
She smiled to Alice and Jasper as they appeared, this was such a hard time for the newest of the Cullens. Esme only wished she could help them but their battles were their own and Esme knew there was nothing she could do to help. Though she prayed the young couple would regain the strength they once had together. Esme wondered how long it would take for the family to adjust to their new situations, they had always managed in the past. However this time it seemed they were having more and more things thrown at them. 'Alice... Jasper, do you want to help me get the cake?' She offered the young pair, hoping that it might help Jasper a little to stay away from the main action until he felt a little more comfortable. Esme had gone out that morning to pick the cake up from a specialist bakers, she wanted Faes cake to be the best thing she had ever seen.
whos in the house?: Jasper Hale, Esme Cullen, Fae Rose, Carlisle Cullen, Edward Cullen, Alice Cullen
what I'm wearing: Here!
count down!: 640
lyrics in my head: Shania Twain - Your still the one
who did this?: Moi!
notes: Man its crap :s [/blockquote][/size] |
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Post by JAZZ;; on Nov 18, 2009 17:15:56 GMT
Jasper squeezed Alice tightly as she whispered that she had faith in him. He wished he had faith in himself, then believing Alice would have been a lot easier for him. He'd always had faith in Alice's words, but something told him that she didn't have much faith in herself right now, so how was he supposed to go on completely believing what she was trying to convince him? She could only hide her feelings for so long in her current state, which meant, for Jasper, she was a lot easier to read than when she had been when she was trying to hide everything from him. She couldn't hide it now. Everyone was on edge and tensions were running high, but Jasper could still pick out Alice's feelings, even when everyone was in a room together, though that was hardly difficult considering how little time they were actually spending as a family at the moment. Things were going to be difficult, he understood that, but he wanted the vague normality of their lives back. Surely they could manage to come to that again.
He felt a moment of hope within Alice, which was quickly snatched away again. That was his fault. He cast his eyes down. He couldn't force himself to do anything that would make anything better. Eyes still cast down, his scowl deepened and he clamped his eyes shut as Alice said everything would get better. He wanted to believe her. He genuinely wanted to believe every word of what she had said, but he could feel the uncertainty. He withdrew a shaky breath as she held him tightly. Finally smiling at Alice made he actually feel a lot better. He figured that was what she had been waiting for him to do, noticing the smile return to her pretty little face now. He glanced to her as he changed, only to find her looking out of the window. She still didn't want to see the scar, did she? She would have to accept it eventually. It would always be there. It wasn't like it was completely her fault. She wasn't going to let Carlisle do his job, so Jasper had taken it upon himself to force the blood on her.
He looked her up and down for a moment when he returned to her, noting the sense of guilt, despite how the large proportion of his latest scar was covered up. He smiled ever so slightly again as she nodded in response to his question. That was all he needed. He inhaled deeply as she gave him a hug, taking in her smell. That was something else he needed. He laced his fingers with her as she lead him out of the bedroom door, heading towards the stairs in order to go and join the others. He could feel the nerves filling the air well before they had reached any of the others. It had been one of the things that was probably making him feel worse when he was trying to deal with the guilt that was waving off of Alice from time to time. He had to try and keep calm, otherwise hell could break loose. Amongst the obvious nerves and guilty feelings, there were various other things as well, things he couldn't quite explain, despite understanding what was going on between everyone at the moment.
He glanced at the other members of his family as they all turned to see them both entering the room. 'That's right, focus on the empath,' he thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He knew he was probably the last person who should be around humans right now, but he understood how important this was to Alice and to everyone else for that matter...with perhaps the exception of Rosalie, who, judging by the look on her face, couldn't feel any worse about Damienne being around. He allowed Alice to apologise to the others as he took the time to slow his breathing right down. He couldn't risk inhaling too much. He flexed his fingers around the back of Alice's hand as he held it and she drew him slightly closer to her. He was alright for the moment, but that could change at any given moment and without warning. That was the dangerous part. He followed Alice's line of sight as she smiled at the human who was stood beside Edward. Damienne. Jasper had smelt her before when Alice had returned home after their coffee break the other day.
With a slightly pinched expression, he nodded courteously to Damienne. “I'm Jasper,” he began in a soft introduction, trying a slight smile. “Pleasure to meet you,” he added, holding the girl's gaze for a brief moment before glancing to Alice for support. That had been the right thing to do, right? His judgement was terrible when he was like this and in situations such as this. It wasn't often he had to deal with this sort of thing. He turned his gaze to the other human in the room now as the little girl waved at Alice. He couldn't help, but feel bad for seeming like he was trying to push the little girl away. He just didn't trust himself enough to be near her for too long. His attention was drawn to Rosalie as she spoke finally as swept Fae up into her arms. He looked between Rosalie and Edward as the blonde vampire glared at the bronze haired one. 'She's not taking it well, is she?' he thought teasingly at Edward, a very subtle smirk returning to his expression. He should have known that the confusion he felt was from Rosalie.
He was going to allow Alice to lead him wherever she chose to go now. He personally didn't know what to do with himself. He was there to support her, but, at the same time, if he needed to leave, he would end up having to drag her away as well and that hardly seemed fair to him. He flexed his fingers against the back of Alice's hand again as he looked to her with a soft smile. He actually felt better than he thought he would having been put in this situation. He was expecting it to be a lot worse. Perhaps it was the smell of shape shifter that lingered in the air around Damienne that was putting him off the idea of drinking anyone's blood and keeping him focused on trying to be 'normal'. He glanced to Esme as she spoke to Alice and himself. He wasn't sure what they were meant to be doing right now, but he understood what Esme was doing in trying to help him adjust to the situation. He looked to Alice again. He didn't know what he was meant to be helping with, so it was a little pointless for him to offer an answer.
tag;; alice cullen.! carlisle cullen.! edward cullen.! rosalie hale.! emmett cullen.! fae'lee rose.! damienne renton.! esme cullen.!
word count;; 1152 words.!
lyric credit;; busted.!
graphic credit;; me.!
outfit;; here.!
muse;; hovering...
notes;; i'm cooooolddddd.! but paula put the heating on <3
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