you made my life a fantasy;; May 25th 2005

[Damienne F. Renton]

It had been another one of the very rare sunny days in Forks, which obviously meant that Edward and the rest of the Cullens had been no where to be seen all day at school. As she understood it, Carlisle and Esme loved outdoor activities and would take the Cullen, and Hale, kids out of school whenever the weather was good. Damienne didn't like it that Edward was away. She didn't like it one bit. It meant she was alone all day and it definitely made her feel a little uncertain about, well, everything and it made her feel kind of paranoid not having him around as a sort of buffer to things. With Edward gone, she couldn't help but be more focused on and aware of all of the whispering around her as she walked the corridors of Forks High School and sat in all of her lessons alone. It made the lessons themselves difficult to focus on and she'd been called out a couple of times about not paying attention. At least if she'd have had Edward around, he would have helped her a little. Maybe she shouldn't rely on him so much.

The general consensus of opinions was that Damienne was definitely not good enough for Edward and how a girl like her had caught his attention seemed to escape everyone. She couldn't even say she was outside of that way of thinking. She had yet to completely fathom out and appreciate what Edward saw in her. People didn't like the idea that Edward was more focused on her than allowing himself to look at anyone else. She wasn't sure she liked the idea that he was always focused on her because it made her that little bit more on edge about making a fool out of herself. She sighed as she let all of the thoughts prey on her mind as she pulled into the driveway outside her house, in a series of fluid motions, bringing the car to a solid stop, cutting the engine. She grabbed her bag and her keys, slamming and locking the door before shrugging her bag onto a shoulder and making her way up and into the house. She unlocked and opened the door, letting herself in.

Her dad was probably asleep or else Dorian had come to see him and taking him out. He still wasn't fit enough to do anything like be at work, so she could easily discount that. She closed and locked the door behind herself before hooking her keys up in their usual spot. She didn't call out to her dad, despite the idea that he might be home. She was used to him not being home when she got back from school and the only reason he was home was because he wasn't well, so it would hardly be fair to potentially wake him up. She quietly padded up the stairs, bypassing any desire to perhaps go to the kitchen or any other parts of the ground floor of the house. She shuffled across the landing to her room, letting herself in as quickly and quietly as possible, closing the door behind her. She started to drop her bag before grabbing it and slowly putting it down. It would have been a force of habit to just outright drop it on the floor. She kicked off her shoes and moved across to her dresser.

She pulled a face as her reflection came into view in the mirror that sat above her dresser table. Seeing herself only added to the wonder as to why Edward seemed to want to focus so much on her. Despite all the talking and the time she was spending with Edward, she was still maladjusted to the idea of him liking her. She slowly pulled out the hair tie that had been holding her curls up in a ponytail all day, dropping the tie on her dresser top and running her hands through her hair to help the even fall of her curls around her shoulders and back. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, quickly tapping out a message as she moved to her bed. 'Missed you today Dx' was all she wrote as she slumped backwards onto her bed. She flipped through her phone book, finding Edward's name and pressing send. She actually didn't hold much hope in seeing him today if he had been away all day. She would love to have seen him, but, as a rule, she never got to when he wasn't in school during the day.

She rolled over, crawling up her bed to put her phone on her bedside table before flipping over and onto her back again, head dropping into her pillows. She spread her arms out at either side of her as she stared at the ceiling, crossing her legs at the ankles and she made herself comfortable. All motivation had left her now. There was no chance of her getting anything done tonight. She was surprised she had managed to do anything during the day. She didn't want to work, she didn't want to read, she just wanted to lie there, even if that meant risking a very early night. The thought of an early night made her close her eyes and yawn. She was definitely risking that early night. Her problem was she could probably sleep through right until she had to get up for school the following day, which would make her even more tired. She should do something...she slowly sat up, slouching forwards, flicking her eyes around the room. She shook her head. It was no good. She could bring herself to do anything, so she fell back into her pillows.

What she didn't expect was to fall straight to sleep as her head hit the soft pillows. The falling sensation seemed to knock the air clean out of her as she landed, but didn't stop her falling asleep any. She had never fallen asleep just like that before and she certainly wouldn't have been able to guess that she was even that tired when she came to think about it, though she didn't really have time to think about it as a new set of images filled her head. It was as if her bed had sort of drawn her into sleep through a false comfort or something. She hadn't drunk another one of Alice's crazy little concoctions without knowing it, had she? No, the Cullens had been away all day. There was no way any one of them could interfere with the things she had eaten and drank until this point. Furthermore, she hadn't really eaten or drunk anything today. She had not been hungry and unless Alice had some way of interfering with the water fountains at the school, then she was sure she was safe from the little pixie's potions.

She shuffled her position slightly, one hand coming to rest across her stomach and the other on the pillow beside her head. Her brain had disengaged from conscious thought the second she had fallen asleep. Her head rolled to one side slightly as she drifted further off into her little dreamland. This definitely wasn't because of anything Alice had somehow got into her system. That had made her pass out into a dreamless state. There was definitely a dream beginning to form in her mind and only time would tell if it was going to be a good dream and manage to sleep through the entire night or if it was going to be a bad dream that would wake her up screaming. She really, really hoped for the former over the latter, as most sane thinking people would, but her hopes wouldn't guarantee the outcome. That wasn't how dreams worked. They played with your subconscious as her dreams more often than not would, pulling out the deepest, darkest memories when she least wanted to replay them.

A soft gasp left Damienne's lips as she opened her eyes, blinking slowly. What should be a winter setting seemed almost comic book like. She had definitely not been drugged and woken up. This transition had been much more pleasant. She was definitely...what was she definitely? A scowl formed on her features as she stood trying to work out what on Earth she had been thinking about. She shrugged. It must have been unimportant for her to have forgotten it so easily. She looked up, eyes scanning through the trees that were covered in bright, fresh green leaves. A gentle smile crept across her lips as she continued to look around before looking down at herself. She grimaced in an instance, tugging at the lower hem of the dress that clung to her form where she knelt. She stood slowly, feeling her legs wobble slightly as she brushed herself off. What was it with her and the dresses in her dreams? She didn't frequently wear dresses. She blamed this on Alice's subconscious influence on her.

Now that she was on her feet, she was allowed a wider spectrum of where to look. She turned on her heel, withdrawing a sharp breath of awe as she took in the world of colour that had been behind her. She knew this place, but how? She slowly moved forward, taking little steps as she took in the bright green trees that looked like they had never withered or shown any sign of the seasons, the gorgeous green grass beneath her feet that was little with beautiful little yellow, white and blue flowers; and the bright sun signing down directly onto her, as if focused on her like a spotlight. With every step she took, she felt bad for even crumpling the grass a little bit, trying to purposely avoid stepping on the flowers. It wasn't that much of a task if she stepped lightly as she crossed the grass to the middle of the clearing she had been stood on the edge of. Looking up again, she noticed how little lights ran around the greenery that framed this little space. Her jaw dropped as realisation finally set in.

This was Edward's meadow. How could she have forgotten it? Then again, she had never seen it in such glorious colour. The lights that floated around were familiar to the day Edward had first brought her here: Valentine's Day. That had been such a wonderful night. How could she have forgotten a place as significant as Edward's precious meadow. She chewed on her lip, a soft smile curving the corners of her lips as she continued to look around. “Definitely dreaming,” she managed to say, forgetting the words in practically the same instance as she had said them. That was the funny thing with dreams. Once you realised it was a dream, it stopped really being a dream, but Damienne's subconscious seemed to fight that off by forgetting that she had realised. It was a great defence mechanism sometimes. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of all the flowers and fresh greenery around her. Everything was perfect, except for a few things that niggled at her mind.

There was nothing to be heard apart from her own breathing, her own heart beat and any sound she herself produced. Surely in a place this colourful and so full of life there had to be something else around to make noise other than herself. She wasn't self centred enough to make the place entirely her own, especially since it was Edward that had introduced this place to her. That was something else that bothered her: where was Edward? This was his secret place. She couldn't be here without him. The thought and a sudden breeze sent a chill down her spine, causing her to look in the direction from which the breeze came from. Something had disturbed this perfect little place. Hazel eyes searched the trees catching a glimpse of something lurking in the outer shadows, making this place feel less safe in an instant. Why was everything out of the meadow so shadowed, so out of focus? Did that have something to do with her experience of the meadow? She didn't really know any part of it outside of the open area.

She grimaced again, closing her eyes to will away the dark edges. She couldn't bare the darkness, not here. It wasn't right. She wasn't having the shadows invade this glorious place. This was one of the first time in a long while where she had felt safe, relaxed...She wasn't letting the shadows in to ruin would could potentially be a great dream and, maybe more importantly, the best night's sleep she had had in ages. Those thoughts faded away as she opened her eyes again, a saddened expression remaining on her face. The sunny spotlight had gone now, the lights that floated around the edge of the meadow were the only real light that remained, though they remained bright. She looked up, squinting to look passed the canopies of trees. What she had assumed had been bright day time had turned into a dark night time in a blink of an eye. She had let the shadows in, hadn't she? She mentally slapped herself, dropping her gaze to the place she had stared at before, seeing something now that suggested that maybe she hadn't let the shadows in...

Standing at the edge of the trees in the space that had contained the darkest moving shadows was a very solemn looking Edward, dressed in all black making him blend into the background of the dark tree line. She wouldn't have noticed him properly if he hadn't have been so pale skinned or had such fiery coloured hair. She would have smile...well, she attempted to smile, but was stopped mid-motion, tilting her head slightly, a soft scowl shaping her face. Her smile had been stopped by the face Edward wasn't looking at her, it felt like he was looking through her...it was how she felt when anyone...no, everyone else looked at her. “Edward...” she whispered, a shiver running down her spine as it had done before, not because of a breeze this time, more of a general sudden drop in overall temperature. He seemed to refocus, his eyes meeting hers. His eyes were a dull obsidian black, reflecting none of the light that was scattered around the trees, dark circles underlining his eyes like she had never seen before.

She now wished she had never closed her eyes. If she had just continued to look, maybe Edward would have appeared and wouldn't seem so damn intimidating, standing there, that look on his perfect, pale face, his form largely hidden in shadow. She flinched, gasping again as a loud howl echoed through the clearing. No. Not here, not now, not ever. A glint of light drew her gaze skyward, catching sight of the big full moon, surrounded by a perfect glowing halo of stars. It hadn't been there before, but neither had any other sound. She wished she hadn't been so bothered by the lack of sound now. The howl still seemed to echo through the dark trees, a low source-less growl rumbling in her ears. Her eyes fell shut again as she lowered her head, feeling a lump start to form in her throat, making it feel as if she couldn't breathe. Out of reflex, she reached up to find a soft silk ribbon underneath her fingers, tied neatly around her neck, a perfect bow tucked against the side of her neck. “What's going on...?” she mumbled in a very weak tone, eyes still closed, hand on the bow.

[Edward Cullen]

Edward's black hungry eyes stared through to the other side of the meadow, passing straight through Damienne as she stood there watching him. This was a cold and dark Edward, one that Damienne had never seen before. This wasnt the Edward she loved but the monster within that she didnt know existed. The subconcious was a strange thing, picking up small details your active mind missed, holding all the information you couldnt always remember. The things you hear in passing, little details in the background... His dark eyes showed no emotion, even as she called out his name, though his eyes refocused to look at her. His marble white skin seemed to almost glow even in the shadows where he stood. Strange how many times Damienne had noticed his ice white skin, but never seriously questioned it. She was so busy making excuses for it all that she never let herself suspect that like her family, there was more to him than it first seemed. The same went for his eyes, the fact that they changed depending on his hunger had only a fleeting thought in her mind. She had pinned it all down to his stress levels, how very wrong she was. The sight of his eyes so black would send most humans running, it was instinct for them. However Damienne was different, she never seemed to sense the danger that surrounded her when he was near... Her family had blinded her to the other dangers in the world around her.

As the light shone down from the moon his skin seemed to glow even brighter. As the howl echoed through the meadow Edward stepped forwards towards Damienne. He was undetered by the danger of the wolves that plagued her thoughts. He wasnt frightened by her family, they couldnt touch him, not here in his meadow. 'Mia...' He whispered as he moved towards her, his eyes still seemed so emotionless. There was something about his voice though, caressing and strangely dangerous, but drawing at the same time. His hand reached out and ran his ice cold finger down her cheek, those eyes seeming to look into her very soul. 'Is this present for me?' He questioned gently as his fingers moved to caress the bow around her neck. His black eyes almost seemed to light up, but stay black and cold at the same time. His eyes showed hunger now as they watched her neck. The howl came again, though this time sounding closer as his fingers tugged gently at the bow. His familiar aroma filled the air as the light in the meadow seemed to dim, the night suddenly getting darker as Edward reached out and pulled Damienne closer to him.

His stong arm pulled her close in an iron like grip, she couldnt escape from it even if she had wanted to. Enclosing her in his arms his hand pulled away the ribbon as he leaned down, his lips caressing down her jawbone down to her now exposed neck. Her blood sang to him, calling him, inviting him to bite and taste it. He knew all too well that her blood would taste divine, the most wonderful thing he would have ever tasted. Better than the animal blood he had been forcing himself to eat. Here now in his arms, just inviting him to bite was his perfect meal. Venom dripped over his white teeth, the thought of biting her and draining her was more tempting than anything he had ever faced before. 'I'll show you my secret if you show me yours...' His voice seemed to caress every single word as it left his mouth. They both had dangerous secrets, but whoes was deadlier? Right here and now in this situation Edward was willing to bet his was more deadly than hers. After all he had the advantage, of course Damienne didnt know that...

[Damienne F. Renton]

Damienne didn't like this scenario one bit: Edward, usually sweet and perfect Edward, was looking right through her, in her precise direction, but the glaze over his dark eyes showed that he wasn't look at her and she couldn't take it. She swallowed as she watched him, hoping he would notice her soon. She couldn't cope if he treated her the same way as everyone else: like she didn't exist. She existed. Everyone else would just have to get over it at some point. She had never seen him like this in general as she continued to take in his appearance. Never had he seemed to dark and daunting to her before, but, there he stood, half hidden in shadow, a look on his face that sort of made her want to run, even though she found herself fixed in the place she stood, staring at the man she loved. She felt a little relieved when he focused on her, but the urge to run remained. She never felt like that around Edward before. She continued to consider this as she observed him, trying to focus on his dark eyes without looking away.

She had never felt this edgy around him and that urge to run that tugged at the back of her mind was beginning to irritate her. This was Edward, her Edward. It had to be. Her Edward wouldn't hurt her. Her Edward loved her. That thought alone seemed to be enough to kill that niggling flight response and calmed her back down from the rising panic she had felt tickling her senses. She narrowed her eyes slightly as she continued to watch him, neither moving towards the other, noting how his skin seemed to glow a little as he came out of the shadows, towards her, into the moonlight. She opened her eyes and felt her heart stuttered in her chest as he whispered her name, his eyes remaining cold, but his voice was telling her a different story, making her want to move towards him, however her feet seemed to be frozen on the spot. She kept her eyes focused on Edward's as he reached a hand out to her, her skin tingling as he ran a cold finger down her cheek to her neck and the bow that was neatly tied there. A present? She was certainly starting to feel like one somehow.

She withdrew a very slight breath as Edward spoke and ran his fingers over the ribbon, his dull eyes appearing to glint slightly. Something about that almost...hungry...look in his eyes suddenly reminded her of her urge to run. She couldn't run from Edward. She trusted him. He wouldn't hurt her. Another howl resounded around the meadow, but that didn't break her gaze on Edward's face. He might not be looking at hers anymore, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from his, watching his eyes examining her neck as his fingers tugged at the bow. The light seemed to fade, making her eyes drop slightly. How could she be tired? She found a new focus, her eyes glancing down at Edward's long, slender fingers against her neck as best she could from this angle. She didn't resist even one tiny bit, the will to run disappearing again as Edward pulled her closer to him within a strong arm, his other hand still pulling at the ribbon around her neck. She felt safe, though something in the back of her mind told her that she should feel the complete opposite.

How could she listen to thoughts like that when she was this close to Edward? Her perfect, handsome, sweet Edward. It felt like the key word at that moment that was fighting off the negatives was how he was 'hers'. It made everything seem so easily forgiveable. He could do no wrong because he was hers. Her eyes fell shut and her head fell back slowly as the ribbon fell away from her neck, allowing her to breathe perfectly well again, and Edward leaned down, pressing his lips against her jawbone, trailing down to her neck, gasping softly at the initial contact before simply giving into it. Every little touch made her skin tingle delightfully with the cold. Cold. Was that all it was? No, it couldn't be just that. No, it wasn't just because he was cold. It felt like little electric shocks...just constantly underpinned by the cold of him. Why was he always so cold? She had tried rationalising it, but in a place like this, things could no longer be rational anymore. Your subconscious tended to wander a lot into the realms your conscious mind usually missed or even simply ignored.

Her eyes fluttered open as she listened to his words, half missing them because she wasn't really listening due to how drawn into Edward's little kisses she was, half not wanting to hear them because of what they actually suggested. “Secret?” she said in a daze, repeating the key word from his sentence. An even louder howl seemed to answer her word, causing her to snap her head upright and glancing around. Did it get darker again? A look of confusion spread across her face as she scanned the even darker outer edge of the meadow, the shadows beyond shifting uncontrollably. The previous colours had faded into darkness, everything appearing as if in black and white. An image that had haunted her for several nights flashed into her head, that of her brother's wolf form. This brought her attention back to Edward and his idea of trading secrets. “No...” she whispered simply, shaking her head, trying to release herself from Edward's grip, but finding it more vice like than she had anticipated.

[Edward Cullen]

The sound of Damienne drawing breath as he untied the ribbon sent a slight shiver over his skin. It was the constant reminder that she wasnt like him. She was fragile and mortal. Unlike him she needed to breathe, her heart beat within her chest whilst his had been still for almost a century. She was like a spiders web, strong in her own world but weak and easily broken in the 'real' world. The taste of her skin against his lips always aroused the monster inside him. He was amused by how easily she gave into his inner demon, though he knew she didnt know how dangerous this was. He was sure she would be being more careful if she knew she was playing with fire. A smirk played across his lips as she pondered his coldness again. Always so close and yet still so far... His lips caressed her skin so gently, feeling the warmth of her skin radiate from her. He wondered how far she would let him go, how close to the fire did she want to get? Would she dare get close enough to risk getting burned. He had a feeling she would go beyond the flames if he pushed her, and he wouldnt be able to stop himself.

He waited listening for her answer, he knew she wouldnt tell. Damienne was so timid, she wouldnt part her greatest secret with him. However he already knew her secret and soon she would learn his. Although his secret was dangerous for her, not that she knew or suspected that. He was suprised however that she didnt seem curious that he too had a secret. He chuckled as she said no and tried to struggle from his grip, but she had no chance of getting free from him. He held her firmly as he let his diamond white teeth flash against the skin of her neck. So close, all it would take was a bite and her crimson vitae would fill his mouth. It was the drug he longed for, her blood... He craved it, he wanted to taste it, he knew it was going to be the best thing he had ever tasted. Here Damienne was presenting it to him on a silver platter. How could he resist? How could he not accept her offer when she was ever so willing? He let his tongue gently touch her skin through his teeth, teasing himself with the taste of her.

He held of teasing himself, though the howling seemed to be getting closer to their position, Edward seemed unphased by it all. Opening his mouth wider he growled that deep hungry growl Damienne had heard before and he plunged his teeth into her soft skin letting the gift she had offered to him flow into his mouth. He dared to tempt fate and it would seem all of Damiennes Nightmares would come to life here as another growl echoed through the meadow, though this time it didnt come from Edward as he was sent flying away from her. Slumped against the trees on the far side dwarfed by the giant wolf that stood over him. Edward looked at the giant wolf and growled deeply shoving the wolf away from him. Damienne's blood dripped from his lips and his eyes had changed, though they were a colour she had never seen before. His eyes a deep crimson, were now staring at this wolf with hatred seeping from them. The tales of the Cold ones filtered through the La Push people, though most children took them with a pinch of salt. Only a select few remembered they were true, only a few of the children even bothered to remember them.

The two sides of Damienne's life were clashing together infront of her, the truth was laid out for her to see. However how would she interpret it? Her subconcious was trying to tell her something about the dangers that surrounded her. Yet would she be able to see past her fear of her own secrets that she would over look again that Edward too had his own. As the wolf towered over him Edward pushed himself up and stood staring at his foe. He seemed so small against the wolves giant form, but he stood so confidently, unafraid of the monster before him. However Edward knew that the monster that lay within him was just as great as this beast. Not of course that Damienne knew that, but it was only a matter of time before she found out. The look in Edwards eyes was fierce and fiery, like nothing Damienne had ever seen in him before. His dangerous side, the side he never wanted her to see was on display, but there was no hiding this monster from her. She was always going to find out anyway.

[Damienne F. Renton]

Damienne didn't know what had come over her. This was just like the first time, though, of course, this was a completely different setting: he had kissed her neck so gently...the only thing disturbing it was a phone call. That wouldn't happen now. She knew that much. This action, so intimate never got disturbed when she dreamt about it. It allowed her subconscious mind to wander...a lot. She was so ready and willing to give into him - mind, body and soul. Something kept niggling at the back of her mind, telling her not to give in, telling her to get out of there fast. The problem was the majority of her wanted to give in, to let Edward do the moving. She felt comfortable in his arms and it was a comfort she hadn't experienced before him. The urge to fight struck through once she actually started trying to do it...not that it did her any good. Edward seemed to have a better grip on her than she could have ever anticipated. She pushed her hands against his shoulders, but it only felt like his arms were like a brick wall around her back...

That was when she simply gave up fighting. What was the point fighting with a wall? A wall? He was certainly as solid as a wall, but shaped nothing like one. A statue maybe? He was like a living statue, that was it. He was too perfect to be...human. He was too perfect to be human? Where the hell did that thought come from? Although...was that his secret? It couldn't be...could it? Her head rolled back again, eyes falling shut as she whispered “Edward...” That was all she seemed able to manage now. She was his captive, his...present. She felt like she would succumb to anything he wanted and, if she was honest with herself, that's what she really wanted to do. What else could she do really? She had already tried to fight him off and that wasn't working. She didn't even want to fight him. This was Edward, her Edward. A shiver ran down her spine as she felt Edward's tongue gently touch her neck. “What...?” she began in the same whispered tones as his name. “...are...you?” she finished, still unable to find her true voice.

She reached up her hands, one coming to rest against Edward's chest, the other finding the back of his hair as it often did. She loved the feel of his soft, bronze hair between her fingers. Another howled echoed around them, but she didn't flinch, she didn't move, waiting for some sort of answer from Edward, then she seemed to get one, one she wasn't sure she had quite expected. She heard that growl, that sort of...hungry growl. She had heard it before. It was resonating out of Edward's throat and he was the same source she had heard the noise from before. This time, the growl was followed up by pain...not even a completely uncomfortable pain either, which seemed odd to her, considering she could feel his teeth piercing the skin of her exposed neck. Yet still, she didn't fight him off. He was biting her, hard enough to pierce skin and spill blood, but she wasn't fighting him off, she wasn't really reacting at all...all she really did was tighten her grip on his hair and a soft moan left her lips...

That was when another growl tore through the trees and Edward was ripped away from her. It took a moment for her head to return to it's proper upright place, her eyes blinking slowly to find her focus once more. She saw Edward, slumped against a tree, his eyes burning red. Towering over him where he was on the floor was a huge, furious looking, brown furred wolf. It was a brown she hadn't seen on any of the wolves she had known before, yet it was so oddly familiar to her...but why? She just about managed to lift her hands to brush all of her hair over her shoulders to her back, feeling something wet brush against her fingers. She retracted that hand, dropping the other to her side, to see the fingers covered in blood, her blood. She slowly looked down her body, a trail of blood running over the exposed skin of the top of her chest and had started to soak down the material of the white dress she was wearing. Talk about a dramatic effect. Edward wasn't human...he couldn't be...what was he?

She looked up and over at Edward, just in time to see him standing up, staring at the wolf. Those eyes. Those angry, burning crimson eyes were enough to bring her to her knees, which seemed to happen in a sort of slow motion: as she fell to her knees, her now dulling hazel eyes still watching Edward and the wolf, the wolf seemed to kneel too, it's massive head bowing low as she then lowered her head. A heavy scowl began to form on her features as she tried to piece everything together. “What...what's going on?” she questioned. What had been so perfect and undisturbed had been destroyed. She thought she was the one that chose her dreams, somewhere in her subconscious. What was this supposed to prove exactly? She lifted her head again, looking at the wolf, who, this time, turned it's head to look at her. Her jaw dropped slightly as she took in the brown fur, the unusual hazel eyes, realisation settling in slowly. She shook her head slowly to find her actions mirrored by the wolf. “No...” she mumbled, stumbling and getting to her feet, just as the wolf did.

[Edward Cullen]

The more Damienne struggled the tighter his grip seemed to be on her. The nature of what he was seemed to win over her though. It was the way vampires were deigned, to draw in their unsuspecting prey to make feeding so much easier. Their beauty, their smell and even their voices were attractive to humans, especially those of the opposite sex. He listened as the cogs turned in her head as she started to realise that perhaps there was something not quite right about Edward, that there were things that made her doubt he was even human. A strange smile crept across his lips as she finally managed to ask him what he was, her curiousity had finally got the better of her. He had started to think she would never realise there was something unnatural about him, that she would continue making excuses for his strange traits. Yet here she was asking him straight out what he was, it suprised him. In the past he had fear this moment, but right here and right now he wanted her to know, he wanted her to be scared of him. He wanted to see the fear in her eyes, hear her heart beat fast in her chest. This cruel part of him wasnt the part she was used to, this was the part of Edward that grew inside him and lay dormant, constantly pushing to get out.

'The question is Damienne... What are YOU?' A cruel grin spread across his lips just before he bit into her soft warm flesh. Letting the blood flow into his mouth, her sweet, delicious blood. It was unlike anything he had ever tasted before and he liked it... Of course this delightful moment was spoiled for him by the wolf that emerged from the trees. The hatred poured from Edwards eyes, he knew exactly who this wolf was, he could tell by the scent. One he was all too familiar with, except now it was tainted by the smell of dog. This was the thing he had been afraid of, the thing he had dreaded all this time. This was his enemy now as a deep growl left his throat. Though this time the growl was aggressive and hostile, not the hungry growl Damienne had heard before. He wiped the blood from his lips that had started to change... Turning bitter and animal like. There was nothing now, that attraction had turned to repulsion. He watched as the wolf looked at something... Something he could no longer see, all he could see now was the wolf before him. The wolf that he once 'loved'.

'So it has come to this Damienne.' He spat at the wolf. He stood straight, his cold red eyes glaring at the wolf before him. 'You had your chance... Now there is nothing left.' He reached out and opened his hand, revealing the gift he had given to her on Valentine's. His eyes narrowed as slowly he curled his fingers around it, grinding it into a fine power and letting the dust sprinkle onto the ground. Edward had known deep down that their love was foolish, he was foolish enough to believe that this could have worked out. 'You have one last choice now Damienne, leave now, or I WILL kill you.'

[/color] He snarled showing his perfect diamond white teeth. Had it all really come to this? The man that stood before this wolf was nothing like the Edward she knew, oddly he seemed cruel and evil... Yet at the same time in his words there was the note of understanding, of forgiveness.

He crouched getting into a position to attack as movement stirred behind him as more figures moved into the meadow. Standing behind him now were the rest of the Cullens. All of them, like Edward, crouched into a hostile position ready to attack. Each and every one of them was different to how Damienne knew them. Cold, fierce and almost evil. Their eyes were different too, black, angry and hungry looking. 'There is no point in fighting Damienne... You are too weak to fight us.' It was as if he was saying everything she feared, he was suddenly saying what she expected him to say. It was as if he was confirming all her fears... She wasnt good enough for him, he was far too good for her, especially now. She had had her chance to come clean, to tell him before it all happened, but now she had missed the chance and they had lost each other... Forever.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/i]

[Damienne F. Renton]

The Edward that stood before Damienne, holding her tightly in his arms, certainly wasn't the Edward she was used to. It was as if he was a completely different person. He definitely wasn't her Edward, the one she was almost perfectly adjusted to. The only thing that stood between her and that Edward seemed to be her insecurities. Everything seemed to stand between her and this Edward right here and now, completely tearing apart the sweet and perfect images she held close to herself of him. She felt herself freeze when Edward bounced her stammered question back at her with a very clear, cruel confidence. She unfroze, blinking to refocus as Edward was pulled from her by the huge wolf. From the moment the wolf appeared, it was like she wasn't there. Well, she knew she was, but it was like she didn't exist...it made sense to her. All she knew was that Edward wouldn't look at her again...at least, not at the human form where she felt she stood, but he would look at the looming creature standing before him...the creature that used to be her.

She scowled heavily, shaking her head in disbelief. That wasn't her. This dream really was turning around into a nightmare. Her nightmares always reminded her that there was that chance: the chance that she'd change, that she'd turn on Edward as she had watched all of her siblings before her turn on their close relationships. Her hands reached up, fingers tangling themselves into her hair as she watched the exchange between Edward and the wolf, Edward calling the creature by her name. “No...” she said weakly, feeling her body shaking through a combination of fear, anguish and pure anger. Her jaw dropped and she withdrew a sharp breath, tears furiously stinging her eyes and a new lump forming in her throat as she listened to Edward's cold words. Nothing left...? There was nothing left? Her thoughts were becoming more incoherent as time passed. She really couldn't watch this anymore, yet she found that couldn't look away. No matter how she tried, she actually couldn't look away.

She clamped a hand over her mouth with a shocked force as Edward presented his present to her to the wolf. That was why she had felt something was missing all this time. Edward had it...and was now crushing it into dust in his fingers. That was enough to tip the scale and let the tears start running down her cheeks. Blurry vision glanced from the pile of dust up to Edward's snarling face just in time to hear yet more venomous words coming out of his mouth. He'd kill her? A soft, breathless sob left her mouth as her eyes looked to the wolf now. It seemed the wolf didn't care much for Edward. That couldn't be her. She couldn't let herself be that...thing. Maybe she wouldn't be able to fight it in the end, but she wouldn't allow herself to turn on Edward. He was giving the wolf a chance. She hoped if she ever became thing thing that he wouldn't give her a chance, otherwise she'd find a way out herself. She'd sooner find a way to destroy herself if she ever, EVER ended up like that thing, turning on someone she as a human loved.

She slowly moved forward as Edward crouched low, slow tears still rolling down her cheeks and soft sobs still coming out of her mouth. Her jaw dropped again as the other Cullens appeared behind Edward. If she became like that thing, they would all turn on her. Her subconscious really was battering the hell out of her right now. She feared this. She probably feared losing the Cullens, losing Edward more than she feared becoming a wolf. What was there to lose now? She'd lost the Cullens, she'd lost Edward. The least she could do was stop herself doing any harm. She closed her eyes, more tears falling as Edward said there was no point fighting, that she was too weak to fight them...she knew that. She didn't even want to fight them. She had made her choice. She wasn't going to have some wolf even try and hurt them. In a matter of seconds, right before her eyes, Edward had renounced her and their love completely. What did she have left right now? Nothing, nothing at all.

She closed the distance between herself and the Cullens and that wolf. She wasn't sure if anyone saw her anymore, but she didn't care. She had to stop this...somehow. She glanced to Edward's snarling face, no longer fearing the look in his eyes, more realising that this was all her fault because she didn't come clean earlier. She had destroyed everything. Letting out a sigh, the tears stopped falling and her sobs stopped echoing. She turned to the wolf, her back to the Cullens. Only in her dreams would she be able to confront herself like this, but it was a subconscious decision that she knew she was stick to in her completely conscious mind. Edward meant the world to her. If he turned his back on her, she felt like she had nothing left. “I made... my choice,” she whispered, scowling at her incompetence to make her words sound certain. She cleared her throat, letting out an irritable breath. “I made my choice,” she said with a very clear confidence this time, staring at the wolf.

[Edward Cullen]

This dream very well could be a vision of things to come in Damienne's future. No one knew yet if Damienne had the gene that would turn her into the wolf that her brothers were. Only time would tell that and she was starting to run out of it. If the gene was to manifest itself it would happen soon and then everything would change. However there was more to this dream than she probably realised, her mind was trying to tell her something, something she was missing. Her fears of what would happen if she did change seemed to control her, very much like how Edwards secret controlled him. 'Isnt it strange how much damage a secret can do?' He hissed as his family joined him. His secret was just as damaging as hers, however he would never change what he was. No matter what happened he would always be the same Edward, where as if Damienne changed it would change her completely. Although both secrets would destroy what they had together, Edward already knew her secret. He knew however it had been killing her to not have it out in the open. She was scared of losing him because of it, and she was right. If she changed she would lose him forever, she just didnt realise how bad things would be.

The wolf stood growling at Edward and the rest of the Cullen's, however when Damienne moved infront of it and and whispered that she had made her choice the wolfs growling stopped and was replaced by a whimper. However the cold dark look in Edward's eyes remained 'Leave now Damienne.' Though his eyes were hard the sharp edge seemed to be fading from his voice. The trees around the meadow started to sway as if she was drunk or dizzy. 'I don't want to, but I will kill you.' His voice suddenly seemed a lot further away as everything seemed to go out of focus, everything except for the wolf, standing there staring at the blurred firgures. 'This is what we are... We are all Monsters. The voice seemed to be almost a whisper on the wind as the wolf turned round to face her, behind her wolf form other wolves moved out of the swirling trees. 'Join us Damienne... Join your family...' The voice was Edwards but it was coming from the wolves. 'Damienne... you need to wake up.' The tone was changing, it was worried? Something wrapped itself around her firmly as she started to spin, the wolves still staring at her, but they too were starting to blur. 'Damienne... Please...'

Edward had planned to get to Damienne's house as soon as it got dark after school. He had wanted to see her and since it was too sunny to go to school he decided to see her after. He had arrived after she got home. He could hear her thoughts, her dreams and he was very uncomfortable with what he saw. He knew her mind was trying to tell her what she couldnt see, what she was over looking. He went to her, he needed to wake her up... He let himself into the house making his way straight to her, seeing her tossing and mumbling in her sleep. He sat down on the bed 'Damienne...' He reached out to her as he saw the wolves approaching her 'Damienne... You need to wake up...' He wrapped his arms around her he was frightened she might see something, hear something that would ruin everything. 'Damienne... Please...' He held her close, pressing his lips to her forehead. 'Its just a dream...' He whispered in her ear. Though he knew it was more than that. There was truth in what she had seen and it scared Edward, he only hoped she wouldnt read too deeply into it.

[Damienne F. Renton]

Damienne didn't like this one little bit. She didn't want this to happen. She couldn't let this happen. This wasn't right. It wasn't fair. She could feel the panic rising through her body and something told her that her physical self was showing those signs as well, but she couldn't stop them. She was asleep and she couldn't bring herself to wake up. It was like the dream was holding her under, drowning her in what she didn't want to see, hear or feel. She let her gaze drop when Edward hissed about it being strange how much damage a secret could do. She lifted her eyes again, scowl forming on her face when she came to realise that she wasn't the only one with a secret in this context. Edward had been adamant that he had a secret too. She looked down at herself, scowl still on her face as she looked over the still wet blood running across her skin and down her dress. Did this make his 'secret' worse than hers? She felt like she doubted the answer to that would be 'yes'. How could anything be worse than the sad, pathetic creatures she could potentially turn into?

With her back to Edward, she felt like she was in the firing line: the Cullens weren't there to back her, but she certainly wasn't on the side of this wolf that stood before them. She looked the creature up and down as it's snarling turned into whimpering. It understood. She had made her choice. If she ever, EVER turned into something like that, that would be the end of her. She wouldn't allow herself to live like that. She couldn't. She had seen what it had done to the others and she wasn't going to let that happen to her. She lifted her head, staring out across the meadow as she heard Edward speaking behind her. He didn't sound so angry now...but he wanted her to leave...She slowly turned to him, everything else seeming to spin slightly faster than she actually turned around. He didn't want to, but he would kill her...was that if she didn't leave or something else? “If I ever become that, you have my permission to...” she said in a low tone, feeling her stomach turn, not at the idea of Edward killing her if that were the case, but at the idea of being that creature.

Everything was spinning, blurring around her, making her feel nauseas. The Cullens had faded away, the wolf remained. She had made her choice and it hadn't been the wolf. Why were the Cullens gone? The edges of her field of vision seemed to fade to greys as the spinning seemed to continue...and the voice floating on the wind. Her hands reached up and tangled into her hair in a sickened panic. She didn't want to be with her family, not that part of it anyway. She wanted to be with the Cullens. “NO!” she screamed, her entire body shaking as she clamped her eyes shut to try and stop the spinning. She shook her head slowly, even when she heard the worried voice telling her to wake up. “Edward...” she mumbled, feeling a sort of cold pressure around her. She opened her eyes, fingers still tangled into her hair and her body still shaking. She wanted to wake up, she really did, but she found herself being sucked under even further as everything spun faster and blurred more.

Her body shifted uncomfortably as she slept, shivering slightly as if she was cold. The odd word spoken in the dream was mumbled from her lips as she moved around. “I made...my choice,” she mumbled weakly...then everything had started spinning, making her whole body shake a little more with discomfort. She didn't want this. She wanted to wake up, just like the voice, that soft, velvety, worried sounding voice, was telling her to. She needed to wake up. It felt like breaking the surface of water after being under, held under, for a long time as she finally opened her eyes, gasping and screaming “NO!” The cold pressure she had felt was identifiable quickly as she felt Edward's arms around her. She forced herself to sit up, frantically grabbing at him, wrapping her arms tightly round his neck and burying her head into his shoulder, sobbing softly. She had heard his words about it just being a dream, just as she had woken up, but she couldn't help the reaction. She was panicked in her dream and she was even more panicked now. “Edward...” she muttered into his shoulder.

[Edward Cullen]

Hearing that she would readily give him permission to kill her if she became a werewolf made Edward feel sick. He could never bring himself to kill her, even if she turned into a monster like him. At least he liked to think he wouldnt do such a thing. Seeing this Edward in her dream, taunting her, snarling at her... That wasnt him, he refused to believe that he could do that to her no matter what she was. He could feel the pain she was going through, her terror at the thought that she could become a monster. At least she had a chance she wouldnt change. It was too late for Edward, he was already a monster, she just didnt know it yet. Except deep down she did know, her subconcious suspected what he was. The fact that she stood there in her dream with blood down her neck lingering on the idea of him having a secret worse than hers. On the scale of things his secret probably was on parr with hers, except he knew hers and accepted it, where as she had no idea of his. He knew he had to wake her up, he couldnt let her continue with this dream. Otherwise everything would be over soon and he couldnt handle it, not right now. Seeing her toss in her sleep evoked feelings in Edward he had never felt in his vampiric life, it almost scared him to see her suffer in this way.

He held her close as she woke and screamed, trying to comfort her. 'I'm here Mia...' He whispered, knowing it wasnt really much but hoping it would take the edge off her fear. What he wouldnt give to have Jaspers gift right now... He cuddled her close rubbing her back gently trying to calm her 'It was just a dream Mia...' He wished he could promise her that the dream wouldnt come true, but he couldnt do that. Because it was possible it could happen, deep down he knew that she knew this too. He kissed her forehead and pulled her away to look directly into her eyes. They were a bright gold colour today, the Cullens had spent the day hunting in the mountains and so Edward had filled up as much as he could. He always felt more at ease after he had fed, it was easier to resist Damiennes blood for one thing. Though the Edward she saw in her dream had dark eyes, she had noticed his eyes, he knew that but was she starting to connect it to what he was? He wasnt totally sure what she was seeing as real and what she simply thought was imagination.

Ever since he had saved her and Jason from the wreakage he had constantly worried about her and seeing these dreams only made it all worse. He had been so scared he would lose her, it made him hate the shapeshifters more. It took all his willpower to stop himself hunting down Tobias and killing him. He was glad Jason wasnt here to hear her scream, he didnt need Jason worrying about Damienne, Edward would do that for him. 'Are you okay Mia?' He whispered softly looking into her eyes. He was still amazed Damienne came away so unscathed, Jason however hadnt been so lucky. He was thankful to Alice, and to Fae for the warning. He didnt want to think what would have happened if he had arrived there any later. Although he knew he was going to lose Damienne eventually, he didnt want it to be so soon. 'I'm here Mia...' He only wished he could promise her he would always be there for her, but it wasnt a promise he could make.

[Damienne F. Renton]

Damienne could feel herself shaking in Edward's arms, trying to calm herself as she tried to nuzzle closer to Edward, even though it probably wasn't physically possible. “I know...” she muttered, trying to catch her breath as Edward said he was there. She knew full well that he was there. She couldn't escape that fact. He was holding on to her so tightly that she couldn't ignore his presence. Her breath was still staggered from the shock of the nightmare. It was just a nightmare. She had to keep reminding herself of that. Despite it's sort of surreal nature, it had felt so real. Strange as it was, even having Edward say it was just a dream didn't seem to soften the blow any. She really wished it would. She freed a hand to lift it to her neck, brushing her fingers over the skin that had been soaked with blood before and only feeling the necklace Edward had given her as a Valentine's present. “Just a dream...” she mumbled, returning her hand to Edward, gripping at his shirt.

She closed her eyes as she felt Edward press a kiss against her forehead before pulling away slightly. She could feel him look at her, so lifted her tear filled eyes to meet his, feeling a slight sense of foreboding fear, fearing the eyes of the Edward of her dream. She felt the fear melt away as she saw that his eyes were a distractingly beautiful gold colour as they usually were. It was silly to even think that they could possibly change as much as she had seen them in the dream. That would have been a very extreme change, one she had never witnessed in the real turn of events, so the nightmare wasn't going to tell her otherwise...though, why would she see something like that? It seemed a bit...out of nowhere, even for a dream such as it was. There was no point thinking about it now: the nightmare had left her really high strung and feeling a little bit vulnerable, so it would just seem like a blind panic for her to even talk to Edward properly about it.

Maybe it was just paranoia really having a go at her. After the crash, with her dad being incapacitated in the hospital, everything about her family seemed to bother her a great deal. She had started to feel like she was becoming one of them in his absence, feeling slightly bitter about the whole thing as they had all seemed to be as well. She slower curled and uncurled the fingers on her partially covered hand. The cast felt just like a weighted reminder. Maybe it was a sign of things to come. Her family could get into the worst states and recover very quickly after all...Thinking about that only seemed to bring back the panic she had felt when she had woken up screaming. She slowly shook her head, her eyes stinging more, silent tears falling down her cheeks as Edward asked if she was okay. “No...” she mouthed. She swallowed, closing her eyes, feeling stupid for crying about this. She wasn't even sure if she was crying about the nightmare or about the prospects of it being a potential truth.

[Edward Cullen]

Damienne's dream told Edward something very clearly. It told him that Damienne was starting to suspect there was something strange about him and his family, whether she realised it or not. He held onto her tightly but gently, not wanting to hurt her in any way, she meant so much to him and yet he felt that soon he would lose her forever. The image of himself biting Damienne's neck sent shivers down his spine, he would never let himself do that. He wouldnt steal her soul, or drink her blood, he just couldnt let himself do it. He ran his fingers gently through her hair, breathing in the waft of scent as he did so 'Yes, just a dream' He whispered soothingly, thoufh it was scarily close to what the truth of their relationship could come to. The dream had shown them all ready to fight her, that would never happen. Edward wouldnt do that to her no matter what and neither would his family. They all liked Damienne, well except perhaps Rosalie but she was a 'special' case. None of them would hurt Damienne, they knew it would hurt Edward way too much.

Edward felt a little lost as what to do, he could see how upset this had made her and yet it was mostly all things that could happen. If any of the events did come to pass would this be the result? Would Damienne be so upset? It broke what was left of Edwards heart to see her like this and it would only be worse when she realised everything in her dream was so frightfully real. He gently wiped the tears from her eyes as she said she wasnt alright. Edward already knew the answer and it scared him that she wasnt trying to put on a brave face. 'Do you want to talk about it?' Edward wasnt sure if this was the best thing to do, after all if she DID talk about it the Edward would have to face her fears that there was something not quite right about Edward and his family... He wasnt sure how he would handle that one. Part of him hoped that she wouldnt want to, and in the state of things he doubted she would want to.

[Damienne F. Renton]

Damienne fought to blink quicker and get rid of any traces of tiredness. Every time her eyes fell shut, she could see glimpses of the nightmare. She scowled as she pressed her head into Edward's shoulder, trying to stop herself from closing her eyes again. She could feel herself calming down as Edward ran his fingers through her hair. He was there, wasn't he? Him being there made him completely different to the Edward in her dream. Here, he was her Edward. He wasn't going to hurt her, he wasn't going to be cruel to her, he was her Edward again. If it was just a dream, why was she panicking about it? Her heart was still racing in her chest and she had screamed. Her? Screaming? Yeah, there was definitely something not right about that. Dreams, so she had always understood it, were controlled by a person's subconscious. If that were still true, her subconscious seemed to hate her and had wanted her to stay trapped inside the nightmare it had designed.

Her subconscious had turned the people she loved into the people that hated her and the people she hated into the people she had to rely on the most. What was it trying to prove? None of it made any sense! Maybe it didn't make sense because she was still panicking. Maybe it wasn't supposed to make sense to her. She had felt so trapped. She had been stood in the meadow, but it had felt like she was bundled up in a box. It had felt so incredibly real, but so terribly fake at the same time. She knew that that had been her, walking around in that nightmare, but she felt almost disembodied from it now that she was awake. She shook her head slightly when she realised her eyes were getting tired again. She had to stay awake. She wasn't going back there. This was mad, totally impossible. Those things...the things she had seen, the things she had even become...it couldn't be any version of the truth, no matter how twisted. There was no way it could be.

If it was so impossible, why was it bothering her so much? Why was she crying about it? She had been so desperate to get away from it, so afraid of what she had seen, and now she was over thinking it because she was still panicking about it, even though she knew all too well that it was a dream. Edward had told her it was a dream. It had to be a dream...right? She was being so easily mislead by a stupid dream. She ran a hand over her forehead, feeling the cold sweat that still covered the skin as she continued to over think it. 'You had your chance...now there is nothing left,' Edward had said, his voice echoing through her mind. He had been so cold and cruel that it couldn't be real. It just couldn't. 'You are too weak to fight us...' Those words seemed to tip her back towards the edge, her eyes stinging with fresh tears. She certainly felt too weak to fight off this stupid nightmare. Seriously, it was just a nightmare, it shouldn't have this sort of effect on her.

She sat up a little better as she tried to push the thoughts away, chewing nervously on the inside of her lip as she willed the stupid nightmare to leave her alone. She withdrew a sharp breath as she felt Edward's hands wiping the tears from her cheeks. She chewed on her lip more, looking up at him when he asked if she wanted to talk about it. 'I don't want to, but I will kill you.' She didn't even have her eyes shut and the nightmare was still eating at her. She slowly and shakily exhaled the breath she didn't even realise she was holding, fresh tears falling down her face as she looked up at Edward, the real Edward. “No...” she breathed, bottom lip quivering slightly as she tried her best to focus on him. “No...” she repeated, shaking her head slowly. She lowered her gaze, swallowing the lump in her throat. “I don't want to talk about it,” she muttered. “Please don't make me talk about it,” she added, looking up at Edward finally, blinking away her tears. “Not right now...”